Tuesday, December 22, 2015

7 Signs that You Are in a Wrong Relationship

Post written by Raymund and Denielle Tamayo


Photo source: www.lovepanky.com
In this post, we have compiled 7 signs to recognize that you are in a "wrong" relationship. It applies to both married and unmarried couples, but the applications from each would be quite different from one another.

We believe that marriage is a lasting covenant done with God and so recognizing that a marriage relationship is wrong should not end up in divorce or separation from our perspective, but it should be worked out by both partners, of course, with the help of God.

However, if you are still unmarried, then there is a lot to think about these 7 signs of a wrong relationship.  

#1. Your partner expects you to be someone you are not. 

A person who truly loves you would not demand or require you to become another person. 

Now, this is different from wanting your loved one to improve. Of course, we all want our partners to have personal and spiritual growth, but we should not do it at the expense of taking away their individuality.

If changes have to happen, then they should realize it on their own.

#2. Your partner's actions do not agree with his or her words. 

Integrity and trust are highly important in a relationship. It is difficult to be intimate with a person who is consistently inconsistent in what he or she says and does. It is difficult to cultivate love with a person who constantly breaks your trust.

If you are still not married, then be sober and think hard if you can put up with this attitude for the rest of your life.

If you are married, then leading your spouse to a life-changing experience with God will help. Of course, you should not force him or her to do anything and you should first be the person whose life is changed by God to do that. Be an example.

#3. You find yourself forcing your partner to love you. 

This is an obvious problem because we cannot force someone or anyone to love us. Moving forward, this can only mean a lot of trouble.

For single people, you should not beg someone to stay when what he or she wants is to leave. You are perfect on your own and God has the best for you in the future if you put Him first in your heart.

For married couples, what we can say is that we love each other because the foundation of our love for one another is God's love. We both receive and experience it individually and so we are able to reflect it on each other as well. Having a personal, intimate relationship with God, receiving and experiencing His abounding love in the process, will help a lot. Remember, we cannot give what we do not have.

#4 You are only attracted physically. 

Your partner being handsome or beautiful should not be the only thing that excites you to be with him or her. 

Beauty is not superficial. It is more than having an unblemished face or a great body. It is also about the character of the person. It is also about what he or she lives for, the depth of his or her heart, and the uniqueness of his or her personality.

People who are attracted to you only because of your pretty face or nice body will not stay by your side forever, but a person who sees your heart, who knows you inside-out and still loves you will do.

#5. Your self-worth is constantly being trampled.

Everyone is a beautiful and valuable creation of God. All of us are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him who loves us steadfastly and no one has the right to tell us or to make us feel that we are not.

If you stay with a person who constantly and continuously damages your self-worth, then you may end up losing yourself eventually.

Again, for married couples, it is really important to have God in the middle of your relationship for He will help you and your spouse become each other's encouragement.

#6. You find yourself not being able to speak your mind and heart.

This is not healthy for a lasting relationship. You and your partner are not responsible to making each other happy, but both of you has the accountability to be honest with each other and to share your happiness with one another.

When it comes to your partner or spouse, do not be afraid to speak up and be honest. Of course, there is a right time and manner to say something and the other partner should be willing to listen and should have an open mind.

#7. You find yourself always sacrificing your own happiness and self-respect.

It is good to sacrifice once in a while for the benefit of your loved one, but it would eventually be unhealthy if it would always be the case. A lasting relationship is a give-and-take relationship.

However, when it comes to self-respect, it is better to stay single than to put up with someone that constantly makes you feel worthless.

Conclusion

Speaking for us personally, a healthy relationship with God for each one of us has been the foundation of our marriage since day one. We celebrated our 10th anniversary in September and by God's grace, our relationship is still going strong. 

It is not always easy, but we know God is with us through thick and thin, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.

We would just like to give God glory for the wisdom and character changes that He has brought in our lives. Without them, taking care of a lasting relationship would indeed be impossible.
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