Saturday, September 20, 2014

5 Ways to be the husband God wants you to be

Post written by Raymund Tamayo

Photo source:

Marriage is a serious issue, especially for a Christian believer.

The Bible is not silent on the many ways that God wants a husband to develop into, and we should strive to become the head of the family that brings glory to His name.

As husbands, God wants us to lead our family in all areas: spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and socially. He wants us to love our wives unconditionally, as much as Christ loved the church. He wants us to serve our wives as Christ served the church.

These are no ordinary, itsy bitsy commands that should be overlooked or ignored. This is the foundation of a blessed marriage, one that not only gives glory to God but also provides a lot of satisfaction, fulfillment, and happiness in our lives, as He originally designed it.

But how are we going to do it? How are we going to lead, love, and serve our wives?

Here are 5 ways on how to be the husband that God intends us to be:

1. Cultivate teamwork and harmony

A husband and wife cannot live independently of each other without their relationship suffering so much. Although both are still independent people, in a marriage God made them interdependent, relying on one another to complement each other’s weaknesses.

Prayer is the key to bringing spiritual unity between man and wife. If you often pray with your spouse, God’s spirit will move to give you one mind and one spirit. As husbands, we have to initiate praying together with our wives.

You both may have different hobbies, interests, and activities, but if you are praying together regularly, you will always be in rhythm and on the same wavelength.

If you are single, this is the reason why it is extremely important to look for a wife that has the same faith as yours. The entire marriage is compromised if both of you are not in the same page in this area.

2. Show compassion

There is nothing that makes me feel bad and inadequate more than when I see my wife in distress. I always try my utmost to keep her away from it, but pain and suffering is one of life’s greatest inevitabilities.

When you see your wife in that situation, ask God to give you a compassionate heart. Some men are so confused and overwhelmed by their wives’ suffering that they just withdraw and leave their wives alone.

The simple act of being with her and truly listening is one of the best ways to show compassion. Most of the time, our wives are not really expecting us to resolve everything. They simply want to know that we know what is in their hearts and that we care.

Listening to our wives' heartaches is a proven pathway for inner healing. Let us not take that opportunity away from them.

3. Show love

Don’t just say that you love your wife, show it. And by showing, it is not only giving her presents or any other material things, but also being loyal, honest, pure, and strong for her.

They say that you can easily tell if a wife is being truly loved by her husband. And this is when she grows more beautiful, inside and out, as the years in marriage passed by. There is an inner and outer beauty that is obvious and shines when a woman is being unconditionally loved by her man.

As husbands, we couldn’t measure how much our love means to our wives, in the same way that they couldn’t possibly know how much their respect means to us. Never ever let your wife feel that she in unloved, or else you will lose her.

4. Show kindness

No matter how beautiful we deem our wives are, they are still not perfect. And the same is true about us, too. Nobody is perfect and we all have our own annoying quirks.

What do you do when something she says or does irritate you? Do you howl in anger and call her stupid? Or you just give up and let her irritate you for the rest of your bonded lives?

God doesn’t want you to stay where you are and not improve, so it is okay to also want your wife to improve in some of her attitudes and ways. The important thing is your approach on how to bring about that change.

Actually, we can’t change ourselves or anyone else. Only God does that, so the best thing to do is to bring in prayer the changes that you want to happen. Ask God to let you manifest patience and kindness and make you realize that your strengths are what complement her weaknesses, and vice versa.

5. Show courtesy

Sometimes we tend to be more courteous and polite to other people than to our own wives. We are well-mannered and considerate to people at work, but when we get home we vent all our frustrations on our wives and kids.

There are also times when we criticize or speak negatively of our wives in front of other people. Do you have any idea how much that damages her wellbeing and self-esteem?

Let us stop doing that and do not do things that bring out the worst in our wives. If you can show courtesy to other people, the more you have to practice it with your wife.

Made Whole by Christ

As a human being, we husbands can only do these things if we are made whole by Christ and only through His Spirit. This means that for our marriage to improve, we, husbands, should also improve in our relationship with Christ.

If we are secured in the love, power, and mercies of God, we can have the confidence to cultivate harmony and show compassion, love, kindness, and courtesy to our wives.

Let us ask God to lead us and take control of our lives, and make us more obedient in following His will.

“Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous;” – 1 Peter 3:8
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